Friday 14 February 2014

Flood


We’re famous for our weather,
No two days are the same.
At least that used to be the case 
These days it’s always rain. 
Now Somerset’s an inland sea 
And Maidenhead’s a lake, 
The transport’s system’s broken down 
There’s not a train to take. 

While Pickles blames Lord Smith, 
Lord Smith blames lack of money, 
And meanwhile those who’ve flooded 
Don’t find it very funny, 
To have their houses full of shit, 
And who needs water features 
When their front garden’s been transformed 
To a home for river creatures.

But wait! I see a vision – 
Dave Cameron on his stallion! 
And hanging round his chubby neck 
Is a large and gold medallion. 
It reads “I am your saviour” 
'Oh yes,’ says Dave, ‘that’s me. 
Now give the people sandbags, 
Not one, not two but three! 

For funding is no object 
Don’t you know that we are rich? 
There’s lots of money here for dredging, 
Or to dig a drainage ditch.
Forget about austerity
And the hated bedroom tax
My Tory vote is sinking
So now I won’t relax.' 

Dave charges round the country, 
His rural vote to save. 
Too late, I fear, we’ve disappeared, 
Beneath a great big wave. 

GLUG. 


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